May 2016 – Melissa Williams-Gurian

31May 2016 by melissa No Comments

A Self-Knowledge Survey

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When a leader receives executive coaching, they are also offered the rare opportunity to learn new information about how they come across to others. Coaching creates a safe place for gathering and sharing that information, as the coach can survey colleagues and pass along the anonymous results to the client. It's hard to mine for this kind of data on your own, because people are less likely to be as frank as they would be with a coach as intermediary. But in the search for self-knowledge, information about how you come across to others is gold. If you can tolerate some surprises, you might consider asking siblings, friends, and acquaintances to answer a few questions about how you appear to them. Sending them questions by email with a promise not to get angry…

25May 2016 by melissa No Comments

The Mantra of Bold Action

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For most people it takes urgency to lead them to take a leap. I believe it helps to orient yourself toward bold action, rather than waiting for a situation that requires it. When we stay in inaction, that is our narrative. Taking action, even if it's imperfect, will change your story. What would I do if I were bolder? If I could let go of some of my fears, how would I show up differently? See if you can turn the volume down on your inner critic long enough to take a bold step. It could be having an important conversation, or taking the first steps to launch a creative idea. A habit of action can help you create a new narrative for your career, for your business, for your life. Once you’ve stepped forward: Celebrate…

18May 2016 by melissa No Comments

How To Become a Leader of Self

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You are a leader of others, and a leader of your business. Most of all, you are a leader of yourself. In every conversation, in every relationship, we are engaged with ourselves as well as the other person. This is what makes self-knowledge so important. If you don't know your sources of power, your stumbling blocks, your habits and your feelings in the moment, your leadership is likely to be on shaky ground. One way to learn more about yourself at this moment is to slow down, and become attuned to what you are thinking and feeling right now. This is harder than it sounds. Search the web for breathing exercises, which can help in focusing the mind. Once you are breathing with some awareness, begin to pay attention to…

11May 2016 by melissa No Comments

What’s Your Emotional Temperature?

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This green sea turtle, basking on a Hawaiian beach, is regulating her temperature. Marine reptiles like sea turtles cool off or warm up by changing their behavior. For warmth, they glide into a warm current of water, or lumber up the beach to bask in the sun. Helping leaders regulate their emotional temperatures is one of the jobs of executive coaching, and it starts by figuring out where a person falls on the emotional thermometer. Where do you land? It can be hard to tell from the inside: some of the "coolest" leaders I’ve met thought they were open and warm. It can help to get feedback from trusted friends and relatives. If you recognize that you are projecting a cool if not downright chilly demeanor, consider following the sea turtle's lead, and taking steps to…

03May 2016 by melissa No Comments

The Vulnerability Superpower

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Some people are naturally able to be vulnerable with their peers. They are as transparent as possible about their thoughts and motives. They show up as authentic, imperfect selves, and allow discomfort and uncertainty. Why is this so hard for others to do? One big reason is that we worry that others will see this vulnerability and try to take us down. We want to protect ourselves, and appear as if we have all the answers. We value openness in others, but fear taking the leap ourselves. Effective leaders have figured out that vulnerability isn't a sign of weakness, but acts more like a superpower, creating strong relationships and solid trust in a way that nothing else can. "The difficult thing is that vulnerability is the first thing I look for in you and the last thing I’m willing to show you. In you,…