November 2016 – Melissa Williams-Gurian

23Nov 2016 by melissa No Comments

Introverts at Holidays

Article

As Thanksgiving and December holidays approach, I’ve been thinking about the introverts in my life—people who may become drained in large groups and overstimulating environments, and who tend to enjoy deep thinking and deliberation. Introverts may enjoy spending time with friends and family, but too many hours or days of socializing leave little room for contemplation, and can be exhausting for an introvert. I had a client named Simon a few years ago with many introverted qualities. Simon didn’t need much attention, connection, or validation from others. He was close to a very few important people, and was content with those relationships. He was especially happy when he could close the door to his office and work deeply on his areas of expertise. When I first began coaching him, it…

Empathy and the Elephant In the Room

Article

Many leaders I know were challenged this week to figure out how best to address the dramatic election results. A change this big will also have big effects at work, and could be very upsetting and divisive. In this case, as at other such times, a leader could choose to ignore the news and carry on as usual, or get stuck in uncertainty about whether or not to say anything. But both of these choices create the classic “elephant in the room” situation. We all know we are thinking about and reacting to something, and when a leader ignores that fact, it doesn’t make it go away. It cements the emotional climate rather than opening up the possibility of a shift. In this case, wise leaders I know decided that…

Is It Better to Lead With Warmth Or Strength?

Article

Which quality is better in a leader—being lovable or being strong? That’s one of the questions posed in the article “Connect, Then Lead,” published in the Harvard Business Review. Authors Amy Cuddy, Matthew Kohut, and John Neffinger discuss behavioral research that suggests that people may comply with the demands of a leader who is not warm, but privately are less likely to feel motivated to perform well for such a person than for a leader who, for instance, validates feelings, asks about others, and uses more open gestures. “Most leaders today tend to emphasize their strength, competence, and credentials in the workplace, but that is exactly the wrong approach,” write the authors. “Leaders who project strength before establishing trust run the risk of eliciting fear, and along with it a…