September 2016 – Melissa Williams-Gurian

28Sep 2016 by melissa No Comments

Knowing When It’s Time For A Conversation

Article

Most leaders spend part of every day in conversation. Some conversations are built into the day, along with meetings, lunches, and phone calls. But at other times, we can choose to shut our office door and be silent, or to reach out and initiate a conversation. At these times, we may begin to think about the conversations we aren't having. Perhaps we wonder whether we should talk to another person to address a concern we have, or perhaps we sense that someone else is having a problem, but we aren't sure if it would be valuable to make time to talk with them. Here are some questions to ask yourself if you're unsure about having a conversation. These questions can apply to conversations with our colleagues, and also with people…

21Sep 2016 by melissa No Comments

The Art Of Letting Others Shine

Article

Working with Monica* is a blast. She is fun, warm, and engaging, and works more than anyone, without ever seeming to tire. When she does take vacations, she is scuba diving in Roatan, or climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro. Yet the flip side of her exciting, overflowing temperament is that at work, Monica wants control of everything. She goes to all the meetings, and nothing can happen unless it is run past her for approval. The chaos can get intense. Monica can't do it all on time, so she is always behind—she runs late to meetings, and takes a long time to get back to people on decisions that need to be made right now. Monica has strong leadership potential—she’s dynamic and draws people to her, and she gets a lot done…

14Sep 2016 by melissa No Comments

Triangles (Part Two): 3 Reasons We Love Them

Article

I've written recently about the human tendency to form social triangles, and how this habit can cause communication problems in the workplace. I often find that there is low awareness of the triangles people are forming in the workplace. Why are they such a sneaky and seductive form? Below I look at three reasons for the triangle's workplace appeal. 1. They are a way to feel like we're accomplishing something. Max is working on a team with Kathy and Jen. If Max doesn't like how Kathy is acting, and chooses not to talk to her about it directly, he may instead approach Jen to complain about Kathy's behavior. It's a classic triangle. It could be a healthy move if Max is talking to Jen only to get clear about how…

07Sep 2016 by melissa No Comments

Solving Workplace Triangles

Article

We often group together in threes. Triangles are stable geometric forms, (at least when they aren't resting on a point), and are such a natural part of life that few people notice when they are in one. We’ve all heard of "love triangles," but we also form non-romantic triangles with our families, with friends, and at work. For example, a boss might have three employees working together on a team, or two employees who are in conflict, and turn to the boss for help. Since triangles form naturally, leaders must eventually learn how to manage them to create a healthy, productive work environment. Here’s a typical triangle work scenario: Liam thinks his co-worker Carrie is being too harsh on him at team meetings. Liam wants Carrie to change, but…

02Sep 2016 by melissa No Comments

Leaders Need To See and Be Seen

Article

There is a deep human longing to be seen. It is one of the greatest possible gifts to show others that you see them. In the workplace, feeling seen, noticed, and acknowledged by those you admire for who you are and for your efforts is a tremendous motivator. To really see others we need to be interested, curious, and inquiring. We need to take note. We can do so by tracking others’ concerns and achievements, expressing empathy, and letting others know that we have understood what is important to them. On the other hand, many people don't realize that it is also important to make the effort to be seen. Many leaders are already striving hard for business results, measures of success, outputs, and details, and hoping that one day this…