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The end of summer—officially the fall equinox on Sept 22, but, unofficially, for many of us, by late August—is a time of transition. The weather is changing, the light ebbing (in the Northern Hemisphere, at least), the harvest coming in, kids returning to school. At work, people return from summer vacations and budgets are often being set in anticipation of the end of the fiscal year. Most of us naturally tend to turn inward at this time, and we settle into different rhythms at home. (For instance, I know my family tends to gather around the dinner table much more often now that we have regular schedules.) At the same time, at work we might be scrambling to keep on top of things. The phone is ringing and emails are piling…

Everyone needs validation. I see this in all areas of life, particularly in organizations, where leaders often express a hunger for more recognition and appreciation than they get.Of course, it’s not healthy to be addicted to validation from others; to yearn for praise and feel unworthy when you aren’t showered with it. If you are frequently bending who you are to get others to like you, or are regularly devastated when someone offers constructive criticism of your work, you might need to work harder on increasing your own self-validation skills. But for most of us, sincere encouragement, support, and recognition are simply important motivators that help us do our jobs with a stronger sense of energy and purpose. I recently read research that found that students who receive encouragement from teachers…

I think of summer as a generous time of year: the sun is beaming, farmer’s markets are overflowing with ripe produce, and leafy trees are offering up their shade. Generosity is an important human quality, and it is becoming recognized as an important leadership trait that can benefit organizations and the individual. Adam Grant, Wharton School professor and author of the book Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success, researches this subject, and found interesting results for employees who share their time and resources with a giving spirit. For example, salespeople who rate strongly in their desire to benefit others generate 50 percent more revenue than their counterparts. People are also more likely to take suggestions from people who are perceived as generous. In Give and Take, Grant explains that…

“The intangible represents the real power of the universe. It is the seed of the tangible” -Bruce LeeWhat is the intangible? It is what we can’t touch or measure. (The word "tangible” comes from the Latin word, “tangere,” to touch). And yet I believe that the intangibles in relationships, including business relationships, matter more than we think. They are, as Bruce Lee put it, the “real power” behind so many things we can measure in business: deliverables, outcomes, clients, conversion rates, the endurance of an organization over time. Think about when you walk into a room for a meeting and the feeling is low, or combative. What are you primed to do by that mood? Which great ideas won’t surface under those conditions? Which employees will work less enthusiastically?Then think of walking into…

I found some great Memorial Day weekend reading in this month's Harvard Business Review, and as I travel this weekend I'll be thinking more about one article in particular, The Surprising Power of Questions by Alison Wood Brooks and Leslie K. John. The authors break the issue of questioning down to two main problems: “Most of us don’t ask enough questions, nor do we pose our inquiries in an optimal way.”It reminded me of a question I have addressed to some of my clients:“Are you interested or interesting?” For instance, I have had clients who wanted to be more likeable, but they just couldn't seem to make warm connections with others at work--or, sometimes, even, outside of work.I know that if it feels like someone isn’t interested in me, it’s pretty hard for me…

People love superhero stories in part because we all wish we had special powers beyond the ordinary. Yet every day we overlook or undervalue special talents in ourselves and others that are as useful in our lives as X-ray vision or super strength. In an article in the Harvard Business Review, “Why Talented People Don’t Use Their Strengths,” author and executive coach Whitney Johnson writes that, based on her observations, the problem is less that we don’t know what we’re good at, but that “we often undervalue what we inherently do well.” That makes us less likely to appreciate those abilities as special, and may also make it less likely that our employers know about them.Johnson identifies our “superpowers” as things we do “effortlessly, almost reflexively, like breathing.” We could all do…

Many of us wonder how better to motivate and influence the people around us. It’s a question I am regularly asked by clients who want to lean in to their leadership, but who aren’t quite sure how to do it.It is an important question, and the answer, I believe, is that people are most drawn to and influenced by a leader's personal authority. If you want to be a great leader (not a bully) and bring out the best in others while being authentic to yourself, you will need to develop that personal authority. It is something a person can carry even if they are not in an obvious position of power; even if they don’t have situational authority over anyone. It's not simple, but the first step, for nearly everyone,…

Strong cognitive skills--those that can be measured with IQ tests, for instance--are always in demand in the marketplace. However, new research by economists finds that employers are also increasingly searching for applicants with other strengths: "non-cognitive" soft skills such as teamwork, collaboration, and oral and written communication skills.This is a strong affirmation for the leaders I know who have been putting in the work to strengthen their self-knowledge, listening skills, executive presence and other aspects of emotional intelligence."Strong cognitive skills are increasingly a necessary — but not a sufficient — condition for obtaining a good, high-paying job," says David J. Deming, an economist and professor at the Harvard Kennedy School. "You also need to have social skills." One reason for this, he suggests, is that in many jobs there is…